Glancing up I saw that Joel was still standing in front of me, leaning on his bike. He was a tall, skinny guy who had a somewhat clumsy way of functioning. He was a nice guy, but we never saw eye to eye on things. I asked him why he was still sticking around. He informed me that he had basically been ordered to stay and protect me until my ride showed up. How chivalrous. I tried to tell him in the nicest way possible that he was free to leave. Instead he refused, and stayed there looking bored and miserable until my dad showed up.

I tried to make small talk with him while I waited, but the fact that I was completely frustrated got in the way. I hated feeling like I was being baby-sat. I knew his intentions were good but it didn't feel fair to me. My private time had been invaded and I felt violated. I've lived in this town most of my life and I know there's a shitload of creeps here. Since I was old enough to leave the house without parental guidance I've been dealing with jerks who honk and holler as I walk down the street. I thought by now I was capable of looking out for myself. However, because of my sex, it was decided without my input that I needed to be watched over.

I'm not afraid of the losers out there because I know that they're there. As long as they keep their distance things go fine. Yet as I sat there with Joel standing over me I felt for the first time that I should be afraid. Why should I have to live in fear just because I'm a girl? Up until this point I always considered myself to be a strong, smart girl in the streetsmart sense as well as the booksmart. I've never let the fact that I'm a girl get in the way of anything I wanted to do because I was taught I can do anything. After only a few months in the working world, the "real world", I'm taught that the whole concept I lived my life by was false. I thought women were making progress towards equality, but then they pulled this stunt on me. Yeah, I was pissed about it to say the least.

What if someone did try to attack me? What is Joel going to do about it? I hate to say it because I like him, but he's a weakling. He knows nothing about the world that I've been stuck in for the past sixteen years because he's been sheltered most of his life. They expect me to accept the fact that he's going to keep me safe? Give me a break. During work I am the superior one who doesn't take any shit. As soon as I walk out the door the roles are switched and he becomes my big protector. I barely respect him, how can I possibly feel safe with him? Damn it, I'd better because he's a boy and that's life. Maybe that's your life, but it definitely isn't a part of mine.

I often hear guys complaining about how girls get treated better and they get off the hook more often. Did I ask for that? They say it's stupid that girls want equality, but they still want to be different from guys. We are different, but we shouldn't have that used against us. I want equality, who wouldn't? Yet I know that the way to get equality is not be acting like a stereotypical male does. People don't seem to see that it's possible to be a girl without being dumb and weak.

I hate the fact that I live in a world where I'm not safe to sit outside of my work for ten minutes by myself. The only way girls are allowed to feel safe is when they are in groups. I'm an individual person and I don't always want to find safety in numbers. I can't take a walk in the park because I have to check behind every bush for danger. I have to be on the lookout for guys who will hurt me. Then I'm supposed to run to another guy to keep me safe. Sometimes I can't even tell the enemy from the protector, I just know that I'm feeling chased.

Perhaps guys should stop wasting so much time protecting us from the world. Instead they can use all that built up energy on something worthwhile. Like stopping the rapes, the stalkings, the crap that everyone hears about and no one deals with. Do something to actually make my life better. Just don't tell me you're doing me a favor by hanging around and breathing down my neck. I enjoy the tiny amount of freedom that I have and I don't want it taken away from me.